Mga Mumunting Lihim, an entry directed by Jose Javier Reyes for Director’s Showcase films in Cinemalaya, kick ideas about a friendship that seemed to be perfect but not. It all started with the death of Mariel, the most understanding and strong among them. Her death was really a hurt for her three closest friends. She left a box that is addressed to Carla, her best friend. The box was full of diaries of Mariel. Carla got interested and read her friend’s diaries. And there, she find out a lot of secrets that was hidden by Mariel to her and their two other friends.
The film bears out confusion if ones friendly relationship is really fine. The idea of the story and the approach of the film were exquisite and hilarious. This is a story that will make people catch a glimpse of how one can value them. On the last breathe of Mariel, she wants to foresee that she will be remembered by her friends. She left her diaries that are addressed to her best friend for her to read it. In there, the secrets of what is really going on, who they really are, and how they treat each other behind their backs was revealed. That may fruition to a fight between her three friends that she left, but in a good way, because there, they will understand each other very well. They don’t only see the flaws of the other, but also their foible. That is friendship, you may encounter misunderstandings and fights, but you end up getting together again and laughing about it. The consummation was not only for them to be stronger but also their relation to each other. That is how she values her friends, that even when she’s already gone, she helped them fathom their selves and each other better. There may be no foolproof friendship, but there will always be a kooky and prosperous one.
Aparisyon, an entry directed by Vincent Sandoval for New Breed films in Cinemalaya, confers about life of nuns and the possible things that may happen inside and outside the monastery. The story correlates during the time of Ferdinand Marcos’ presidency, 1970’s. Sister Lourdes went to the Adoration monastery, found in a remote town in Rizal, to join them and be introduced to the cloistered life. Sister Remy, an extern nun in the same monastery, receives news that her activist brother is gone. She was deeply afflicted, and so, she asked Mother Superior Ruth a leave of absence because she wants to help her family in searching his brother. Unfortunately, she is not allowed to. Sister Remy got comfortable with Sister Lourdes, which leads her in telling everything that bothers her and all the glitches she was going through. Sister Lourdes got the point, so she decided to go along the side of Sister Remy, and she asked Mother Superior Ruth to make her also an extern nun. When they are asked to sell their herbal medicine to the town proper, instead of going to the town, they’re going to a meeting where the people also have missing relatives. It was already dark and the way back to the monastery is through the woods, they encountered three drunken male rebels and have fallen into immolation of bestiality.
The film bespeak a heavy feeling, it leads everyone to the understanding of the sacrifices made by those people who wants to be a nun. Though the story gyrated only inside and a bit of outside the monastery, it didn’t fail to make an excellent story. A story that would make people see a different and somehow hidden side of the world, because we can see the outside of one monastery but not really the happenings inside of it. We may conclude to the idea of nuns are only praying their whole lives, that they are all happy with praying and meditating everyday. But this film shows that they are also suffering from different glitches. That they also suffer but remain grateful because the trust in God and His plans. And I can still remember Mother Superior Ruth’s line when Sister Lourdes is really down because of the violence she experienced, she said, “Hindi mo man maiintindihan ngayon kung bakit nangyari ‘yan sa ‘yo. Dapat mong tandaan na iyan ay bahagi ng malaking plano ng Diyos sa buhay mo.” It may be not the exact words used, but that was the idea. The statement makes us realize that even on the darkest moment, the deepest failure, or mistakes that we are going through; it is part of God’s plan. A plan that will lead us into the culmination that there is no perfect life, that even though how hard we work just to make things the way we wanted it to be, it will still pull us to where we really should be and make us stronger. It may be the worst thing that would happen to us, but if we just accept life’s imperfection. We will be happy. The consummation of the film may lead to the feeling of heaviness because of the lunatic people/events in this world that may lead us to the questions of why. But in the end, it depicts a gnarly life despite of the dreadful situations you experience.
“ So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. “ (John 16:22)
In these days of our lives, we are given enough, more, and much of what we needed. We are so fortunate to be blessed. And yet, we are facing a lot of problems. We are teenagers. We have lots of questions. We are so curious of a lot of things. We even lack on our own identity. But we fight. We face everyday. We still live. We fake smiles. We get stronger. We are learning. Now, the question is, Are you happy? This is not a question to make fun of, but it is a question to make us realize if we are really happy. With that, we get to think of our situation in present times. If we are escaping from dramas, and so glitches are just being cache. Or we are just really happy. We need to think and accept what we have and who we are. That even with our imperfections, we are happy. God had given us everything, for us to be happy, and for that gift… we should be proud of. 🙂 Now, ask yourself, ARE YOU HAPPY?
True love is simply being true to it. Without any reason or any effort of learning to love, you just simply love. It is immeasurable, yet it just goes deeper and deeper. You can’t control it or hide it from yourself. It is something like a proven fact to be true, you can’t deny it. But the glitches behind it was it differs from ‘you truly love the person’ and from ‘you truly love each other.’ With “you truly love the person”, it is just you. You’re just wasting your time. It is pointless. It is like you’ve read a fairy tale with nothing good happened on the story. You were expecting for a happy ending but in the end, you realized yourself being a dumb ass who knows that the fairy tale is not a good one, yet assumed that it will. Just a fail, plain stupidity it is. And the other, with “you truly love each other”, it is almost perfect. The feeling, and the two of you, together. It’s just love, true one. But still, you’re not sure if it lasts. Does a love, the true love they call, do last a lifetime? If not, is it really possible for someone to forget true love? And what do you really forget, the feeling or the person you had felt true love with? That is quite a realization with things I can’t even answer. I’ll just leave this unanswered as love really connects to fantasy. Life, indeed, is really short. Just be happy. True love may or may not have happy ending, but at least you know that somebody loved you and can love you with who you really are. 😉
No matter how much we’ve been hurt, no matter how we fail at times we assumed, we still feel the same way when the same sweet things happen. That is love, that is when you get to say you really have fallen in love. You can’t control yourself from being hooked to the sweetness of ones affection. Yea, love makes you act stupid, feel stupid, and transforms you to being stupid. You use your feelings, not you’re mind. Love is like a stubborn kid. They just do what they like to do. If they got curious, they won’t worry about taking risks and just go with it. And always want dealing with who/what makes them happy even if it hurts them, gave them bruises, and made them cry. Love is like a stubborn kid. They are committing mistakes, and learning. Experience is one best way to make them realize something, and be used to something they can use in the future glitches. For the last time, Love is like a stubborn kid. That’s true. So don’t spoil love with such sweet things if you don’t have the courage to continue it with commitment or relationship, because its like a kid, if you spoil them and don’t give them what they like, they will cry and eventually hurt themselves. That is a kid, that is love. It’s forever young, it doesn’t grow old like people. It always stay immature. Even though it is forever young, you can’t play with it. It is still a feeling, it gets hurt. Like a kid who’s being bullied, they get hurt. And so, my friend, like a loving parents always say, “Don’t be stubborn!”
Moving on can never be applied with a scientific method nor be solved using GRESA. It will never have a process, you can’t even say that “Today, I have moved on.” It is something you just forget, it is more like having an amnesia and not doing something about it. You just forget it. But how could it be possible for one to move on with a matter of missing the old times, a matter of needing your relationship with someone in the past, and worst is, the matter of holding back into the feeling? The feeling of being in love, and the feeling of being loved. Yes, it has its ending. The fact is, it already did. You can say that your letting go of that person, that feeling. But if your always bringing yourself to the past, you are letting go but holding back the feeling. Which is, by rudeness, USELESS. You’re like reading the same book a hundred times, you’ll just get the same thing, same story, same climax, same rising and falling events, and same ending… It doesn’t change, just like your feelings, what you felt, and how much you’ve been hurt, it doesn’t change. So don’t fool yourself with saying, “I will move on.” Because time itself will erase everything. Forget the feeling but never forget the lesson. It may help you, it will. 🙂
I guess that’s the right phrase for this feeling, not completely moved on, but moving on. Processing, loading, buffering, or whatever, it’s too slow. I don’t know if with this, I really am moving on. I go back again and again to the happy moments, that makes me feel again and again how much it hurts. I’m not good at this, I’m neither an expert one nor a veteran. I’m not experienced. At some point, this is good for me to learn such things. But, I really am down. I’m really hurt. I want to let you know that I love you, so much. I know I need to stop. But I can’t help it. I can’t. I’ll be trying but I won’t swear. Here I go, again. 😦
Forgive me, but this is what I really want to say. This is the real thing. I want to tell you and let you know that this is what I’m feeling. I want you to know that I love you, I love US. I love how you’ve been sweet, I love how we’ve become, I love every word you say, I love your smile, I love holding your hands, I love our tight hugs, I love every single thing about us. But I hate it when I’m thinking that this is not right, everything is not right. The reality of there is no US but such sweet things existed and such sweet moments happened, but there’s no us? Why? I hoped, I assumed, I thought that there is something going on. That’s just what I felt, but it’s nothing. I assumed that you feel the same, got mad at you, but it’s really my fault. I’m being snob and out of reach at times we’re together, I’m sorry, I just don’t want to feel the same. And even though everything wasn’t right, though everything was just what I thought, I still love you… I still love US.