Hold my hand, I’ll never get tired.

It’s sad to think how we desperately long for someone who isn’t and was never ours. It’s sad and funny, equally. But the thing is, that is how much we can offer for love. That is how much we can love. Like asking why that one can’t love us? Worse is, we can find reasons on why that one should consider us, than reconsider moving on. Because, yes, I am happy cooking every meal you’ll have every single day. Yes, I’ll be glad doing your laundry to lessen what you’ll be doing. Yes, I’ll be honored massaging your feet, or even your whole body, just to make you feel better after your long day at work. Yes, I’ll undoubtedly drive you to wherever you’re going. Yes, I can be that one who’s going to be with you when you’re sick, taking care of you. Yes, I can go wherever you want me to go, with you, just to make you feel that you are not alone, that I will always be here with you. And yes, I’ll be happy doing everything that could make you feel happy, that could make you feel contented, that you could make you feel you have everything. And with all that, I just want you to hold my hand, regardless of how rough it has gone due to everything I can, and I will do for you. I just want you to hold my hand, making me feel that I am loved back, that you truly love me back.

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Soon Enough

We are young. And yet, we worry too much about being in a relationship. At least most of us, let’s admit it. We long for someone who’s going to take care of us whenever we’re sick, who’s going to cuddle with us on a cold weather, who’s going to surprise us even if there’s no special occasion, who’s going to make us feel we are not alone… We always long for someone who’s going to be always there for us. That shouldn’t be the case. We shouldn’t be desperate. In time, it will be there.

 

We should know, soon enough, love will come along. Someone out there will, soon enough, come into your life to make you feel everything’s perfect… You are perfect. Maybe now is not the time. Maybe now is too early for that. Maybe now is the time for making one’s self happy, because soon, someone will do that thing. And you are to make that one happy, too. Maybe now, just now, that one is still scared to take risks. Risks that could, probably, hurt you, both of you. Maybe that one is still working on being ready on getting into a responsible and happy relationship. Not the teen-type relationship, but a serious, matured one. The risks, maybe that one is still afraid, still fearful. When all that one can do now is be clingy, be sweet, and be someone you ever wanted, but that’s just it… you’re not committed because of that fear. But let’s give time, because, maybe, that’s what everyone needs to be entirely happy and ready. Giving time and having time for your own is important. So let’s give everyone time.  

 

Thus, soon enough, everyone will learn to love regardless of the gender (Maybe this is another issue, but it goes to this one as well.). That when love hits the both of you, no matter whom that is, you’ll probably give in to it. That no one will ever be afraid to love because you’ve readied yourselves in to the judgmental nature of people, and learned not to care at all, because you are happy… because you love.   

At Iba Pang Sanaysay (Anim na Sabado ng Beyblade – Book Report)

Madrid, John Paul M.

Colegio de San Juan de Letran – Intramuros

 

Marami na akong nabasang libro na patungkol sa politika, gobyerno, mala-black propaganda, love story, fantasy, at mga iba pang karaniwan nang tinatalakay, sinasalaysay, o pinapatungkolan ng libro, lokal man o foreign. Ngunit dahil sa isang akda/sanaysay na nakuha mula sa isang libro na binasa namin sa Fil103 ay nagkaroon akong interes basahin ang buong libro, ang Anim na Sabado ng Beyblayde at Iba Pang Sanaysay ni Ferdinand Pisigan Jarin.

Ang sampung sanaysay sa loob ng libro ay may mga pamagat na Quinabuangan, D’Pol Pisigan Band, Barko, Pulot Boy, Niog, Repaks, Kumbento, Service Crew, Baclaran, at Anim na Sabado ng Beyblade. Ito ay nagsasaad ng iba’t ibang buhay ng karaniwang tao na hindi naman karaniwang sinusulat bilang akda. At naging sobrang malikhain ng isip ni Jarin para gawing mas makatotohanan ang bawat sanaysay. Naging malawak man ang sakop ng paksa base sa lugar, pero nagiging malapit naman ito dahil sa ito ay ang mga posibleng nangyayari talaga sa buhay ng isang tao. Isang taong hindi ganoon ka-pansin sa lipunan, isang taong hindi nababalita sa pahayagan o telebisyon, isang taong wala sa mga print ads, isang taong walang Monumento sa kung saang lugar man na maaaring mapaglagyan niyo, pero ito ay isang taong hindi natin nakikita minsan. Isang taong namamaliit, nabababa, o hindi lang talaga visible sa atin. Tulad nga ng sinabi ko kanina, isang karaniwang tao lamang.

Kaya siguro nasulat ang mga sanaysay na ito ay para malaman natin ang mga posibleng tao na ordinaryo lamang sa paningin natin. Mga taong wala lang sa mata natin, mga taong hindi natin lalapitan para magpa-picture, kung hindi mga taong sasalubungin, o daraan-daanan lamang natin. Hinayaan tayo ni Jarin na malaman ito para matuto tayo rumespeto. Hinayaan niya tayong mag-isip at magnilay kung may konsepto pa nga ba tayo ng pakikipag-kapwa tao. Dahil ayon ang kulang sa atin ngayon. Lalo na sa iba na sobrang taas na ng tingin nila sa sarili nila, nawawala na ‘yong pagrespeto nila sa iba. At ayon ang nakikita kong layunin ni Jarin sa pagsulat nito. Gumamit din siya ng wika na maiintindihan nating lahat bilang karaniwang tao. May mga salita naman siya ipinapasok pero sinasabi rin kung ano iyon para mas maintindihan natin, para mas makibagay tayo sa akda niya. At hindi naman siya nabigo. Bukod sa mga tawang nabigay ko, at pagsabi ng “oo nga, ‘no?” ay ang pag-iisip sa dulo na nakakatawa nga ba ito sa totoong buhay.Ayon ang kinaganda ng librong ito, ang pagiging isa sa atin bilang tao. Hindi ako at hindi na ako magbibigay ng mga detalye o kuwento sa rebyu na ito dahil gusto ko na pati kayo, na nakakabasa nito, ay magkaroon ng interes na basahin ang buong libro. Dahil ito’y maganda talaga. Maganda dahil mamumulat tayo nito sa buhay-buhay.

Ang pagtanggap sa sarili. (Four Sisters And A Wedding – Movie Review)

Madrid, John Paul M.

Colegio de San Juan de Letran – Intramuros

 

Ang Four Sisters And A Wedding ay handog sa atin ng Star Cinema na isang pang-pamilya o pang-magkakapatid na pelikula. Ito ay tungkol sa Salazar Siblings na muling nagsama-sama makaraan ng ilang taon para sa kasal ng kanilang bunsong kapatid. Hindi lang sila umuwi para masaksihan ito, ngunit para pigilan na rin. Ang pelikula ay hindi lamang nakasentro sa kasal ni CJ, ang bunsong kapatid, ngunit ipinakita rin dito ang mga narating ng magkakapatid. Ang magkakapatid ay sina; Teddie, ang panganay, na OFW sa Spain; Bobbie, naging tagumpay sa kanyang piniling propesyon sa New York; Alex, isang independent Film assistant director; Gabbie, isang guro na nakatira kasama ang kanilang ina; at CJ na kanina’y nabanggit na. Hindi man naging perpekto at masagana ang lahat, pero isa pa rin ang naging dahilan para magkasama-sama at magkasundo sila… ito’y dahil sila ay magkakapatid, sila ay pamilya.

 

Ang pelikula ay naging matagumpay dahil sa masuring pagpaplano at maayos na organisasyon. Unahin na natin ang casting, hindi maikakailang nakuha nila ang ilan sa mga batikang aktor na nagampanang maayos at nabigyang buhay ang mga pagkatao ng mga karakter. Kasama na rin ang mga make-up artists at stylists na tumulong para lalong mabagay ang mga aktor sa kanilang karakter. Kabilang na rito ang mga maayos at magaling na trabaho ng mga tao sa likod ng pelikula na nag-ayos ng set para mas mabigyang ideya ang manunuod sa kung anong estado ng buhay ang mayroon ang isang karakter, at props para mabigyang ideya ang mga tao sa kung anong posibleng mangyari. Sa mga taong responsable para sa editing na nagbigay ayos sa pagkakasunod-sunod, framing at kung ano-ano pang kailangang i-edit, at sa mga taong responsable sa mga musika o tunog na ginamit sa pelikula para mabigyang kasukdulan ang emosyon sa bawat pangyayari. At lalo na sa mga manunulat na gumamit ng wika na maiintindihan at makakapukaw ng atensyon ng mga manunuod kung saan sila makaka-relate. At hindi rin natin puwedeng makalimutan ang direktor na naging masipag at matalino sa bawat desisyon para sa pelikulang ito. Hindi natin maikakaila ang tagumpay na nakamit ng pelikula dahil sa mga tao sa harap at likod ng camera.

 

Naging maganda at magaling ang unang handog na pelikula ng Star Cinema para sa kanilang ika-dalawampung anibersaryo. Ito’y napapanahon nga para sa atin upang mas matanggap at mabigyang-pansin natin ang pagmamahal ng pamilya natin. Pero bukod doon, mas matatanggap natin ang sarili natin dahil maaari nating makita ang pagkatao natin sa isa sa mga karakter sa pelikula. At mula doon ay makikita natin na hindi ka man ang pinakamagaling, pinakamabait, pinakamatalino, o pinakamatagumpay, may pamilya ka pa rin na magmamahal sa ‘yo at ang tingin sa iyo’y ikaw ang pinakamagaling/mabait/matalino/matagumpay na taong kilala nila. At ang mas importante nga sa lahat ay ang pagkilala mo sa sarili mo, sa mga kakayahan at kahinaan mo, at pagtanggap dito.

Pinas o Finas?

Madrid, John Paul M.

Colegio de San Juan de Letran-Intramuros

 

Filipinas o Pilipinas? Ano nga ba ang nararapat? Marami ang nagsasabi na Filipinas dapat ang gamitin dahil sa letrang F na nakapaloob na sa ating alpabeto, at marami ring nagsasabing Pilipinas dapat dahil sa ito ang unang ipinangalan sa atin sa ating pagkalaya mula sa mga mananakop. Makuha man ito sa abacada o modernong alpabeto na ginagamit ngayon, ano nga ba ang dapat? Lalayo na ako sa mga argumentong nakasentro sa alpabetong ginagamit natin. O sa iba pang paulit-ulit na ring ginagamit. At magbubukas ng bago, hindi man bago ngunit ito’y malimit na nating marinig.

 

Pilipinas ang pinipili ko dahil sa simpleng dahilan, dito na tayo kilala. Bukod sa bansag na Philippines, ay ito ang alam na ng mga banyagang itawag sa atin. Hindi ganoon kadaling maging kilala, kaya bakit pa natin babaguhin? Naging tanyag na nga ang ating bansa dahil sa mga kababayan nating nagbigay ningning sa lahi natin. Doon na tayo kilala kaya dapat makuntento na tayo sa pagkakakilanlan sa atin. At isa pa, Filipinas ay tumutukoy rin sa mga kababaihan sa ating bayan. Maraming banyaga ang gumagamit ng Filipina upang ipakilala ang isang babae mula sa ating bansa. ‘Wag na nating lituhin ang sarili natin at ang ibang bansa. Mahalin natin ang pangalang kinasanayan natin.

 

Marami ngang ibang problema ang mas kailangang pagtuonan ng pansin kaysa sa Filipinas o Pilipinas na ito. ‘Wag naman sanang dahilan ng pagtatampok ng usap-usapang ito ay para matakpan ang mga hindi mapunang problema sa ating bayan. Gawin nating simple lamang ang buhay at tanggapin natin ang pangalang nakakabit na sa lahi natin. Tayo ay mga pinoy/pinay na galing sa Pilipinas. Patuloy nating patanyagin ang ating lahi.

Someone who doesn’t exist.

        “You don’t need anyone to be happy.” That’s what they say. But, clearly, only lunatic people would say that. Of course, you need someone to be happy. I’ve been to trips alone some time, fulfilling yet it would be meaningful if you’re with someone. I’ve been there, and I’ve done that. I know it better than anyone who hasn’t experienced that.

 

        We all need that someone who could go along with our weirdness. Being alone is being insane. And I’m guilty. But this time I felt sad. Who would not want to meet someone? Who would not want to be with a person who could go along with your trips? No one. And if there’s anyone who disagrees, talk to me, or talk to some expert one. Maybe your mind is not normally stabled. Anyway, honestly, I felt sad. I want someone who could go an out of town trip with me for a day that wasn’t planned. I want someone who could ditch their plans, classes, or work for a day to go somewhere, far. I want someone whom I could ask to go to the mall with, anytime of the day, without knowing what to do there, and then see a movie with me, or pig-out with me, or whatever. I want someone who could go along with me. It would be perfect. Just perfect!

 

        See, that’s what I’ve been waiting for. For the last 18 years of my life, too young, though. So it’s okay for me to wait. But not that long. I just want to have someone who won’t get tired going on trips with me. Because I don’t want to be alone. I know how bad it feels to put your camera on timer just to have a whole body shot of yourself to a wonderful place. I know how bad it feels to lean on the bus’ window to sleep instead of leaning on that special one’s shoulder. I know how bad it feels not to have someone who you can share excitement and happiness with as you reach a wonderful place for the first time. I know how bad it feels to be with someone who doesn’t exist. Crazy, right?

Don’t be too old for your age. Let’s play it simple.

     To love is just the same thing as to live. It undergoes changes. It is a long journey. It has an indirect process before being stabled, before settling down. Just like living, we commit mistakes, we face failures, and go through other glitches.

 

     We fall in love. We have this puppy love during elementary days, teenage love during high school days, and all. It has levels. But what’s important is that we are happy. In the first place, you’ve fallen in love and entered such relationship because you are happy. And if you’re not, just end it… unless you are married or at the age of 25 and above, you should try fixing it. But if you are still young, just let it go and consider it an experience. Let’s not fantasize the statement, “Even though we always fight, I’ll be staying.” Or something like that. You’re just fooling yourself. You should not complicate things with fighting. You should just be happy and learn. You should love is equal to you should be happy. It has levels, it is step by step, the level of maturity changes. ‘You should be serious’ differs when you’re just 13 from 31. The level of being serious at the age of 13 is serious but not miserable in a way of not complicating things. While at the age of 31, you should be fixed that you’ll be happy and stay with each other no matter what, with conflicts and all.

 

     Let’s not misinterpret the statement, “You don’t know if when your last day is, so live while you’re still alive.” Or something like that. You should enjoy being a kid. You should enjoy being immature. Because time will come that you should be responsible. From there, you don’t have to regret and go back to being a kid because you’ve already spent your childhood days being playful. So let us not be afraid of death, we have to live on how much responsibility we should have, and to not think like a 29 year-old when you’re still 12. You may only live once, but let’s not put pressure to it. Just be yourself at the age you’re in. You should not be miserable, you should live. Just live!

Paglalaro at pagmamahal

Ang sarap umibig, ang sarap magmahal. May mga pinagdaraanan mang problema, masaya naman. Marami tayong natututuhan. ‘Pag nagtagal, nagiging eksperto’t sanay na sa mga posibleng mangyari.

Nakakatawang isipin na ang pagmamahal pala ay parang sinanay na natin noong bata pa lamang tayo. Kung malalim na tayong mag-isip noon, tatatak sana sa atin na ang paglalaro, tulad ng takbuhan, patintero at kung ano-ano pa, ay para lang ding pagmamahal. Pinipili natin itong gawin dahil sumasaya tayo. Kahit na minsa’y nadarapa, nasusugatan, nauuntog, ay iiiyak lamang natin dahil sa sakit pero pagkatapos ay ayos na tayo ulit. Parang sa pagmamahal lamang, pinipili nating pumasok sa relasyon dahil sumasaya tayo. Kahit na minsa’y umaasa, naloloko, nasasaktan ay iiiyak lang natin at pagkatapos, okay na ulit. At kapag matagal na natin siyang ginagawa, nagiging magaling na tayo. Alam na natin kung paano ito laruin. Pero kung matagal na, hindi ka pa rin natututo, mag-isip ka na. Kung sa laro nga ay may tinatawag silang balaongga, marahil sa laro ng pag-ibig… ikaw na ‘yon.

Pero tandaan natin na hindi na tayo bata para magkipaglaro sa damdamin ng tao. Maaaring pwedeng ihambing ang pagmamahal sa paglalaro, pero hindi naman ibig sabihin nito na dapat mo ng laruin ang pag-ibig. Dahil ikaw rin sa sarili mo, hindi mo gugustuhing mapaglaruan.

You’re the mistake I want to commit, again.

           People tend to be in situations indirectly the same. We all go through the same thing. Maybe in different time, place, or scenarios, but it is just the same thing. We fall in love. Hence, we fall out of it. Maybe it is so childish to use the word FALL, but in the benefit of everyone, YES, we do fall in and out of love. We go in relationship that makes us happy, maybe not the whole time, but at some point it made us happy. That’s where our innocence drives us. It leads us to something we thought we’ve always needed. We all go through that… pain… heartaches… but behind that are just another lesson in life. We may all get hurt once in our life, what’s important is that we know how to move forward.

 

            I’ve been in a similar situation. I’ve fallen in love, hardcore. There are days when you are excited because you’ll be able to talk to someone, someone really special. There are days that even when you’re tired, you’re going to go out with your friends because you know you’re going to see that person. There are sleepless nights when you don’t care about the time because you foresee the late night call that fortunately happens. And at the end of it, it ends. Because what you thought was meant is inversely proportional to what is true. How you thought of the effort appreciated was all but a bunch of lie. When you thought it will go to a deeper relationship, all of a sudden, it’s just gone. That’s it. That’s the kooky game of love.

 

            Behind all the pain, heartaches… lays another lesson learned. Behind all the anger, hatred… lays a gratitude for all the first times, for all the happy moments, for all the wonderful memories, and for all the great lessons given. I may have considered that a mistake, you a mistake, but the truth is… you are the mistake I’ve always wanted to commit, again.

The funny thing is, I’m not mad anymore.

Every after bad experience from a person, the automatic thing you’ll get is mad at that person. Like in relationships, I mean, especially in relationships… there are lot of situations that might lead to water running dry, that’s at least what the song Water Runs Dry says. As long as there is still love you can give to that person, choose where you can still go through. If you think it’s best to end a relationship because it’s turning into pure fights, then let go. At least you won’t get that mad at each other.

I’ve been in a bit the same situation. I’ve been in love to someone who couldn’t love me as much as I’ve given. But still, I continued making that person feel how much I mean the words ‘I love you.’  Until the time came I realized how I’ve been making myself fall out of love. I’ve stalked too much and found such lies. And yes, I’ve been that bitter. But I realized that instead of getting mad at you(Yes, I’m referring to someone now.) and holding much grudge. I’m still thankful. You’ve made me happy more than anyone could. You’ve shown me efforts to at least give back the things I’ve done for you. You’ve accepted the fact that I really do love you. You made me feel something new in my life, just that pure happiness. Until I have complicated things, yes, I guess it was my fault, partly. But whatever is that, I just want to thank you. For that smiles you’ve drew in my face, that butterflies I’ve got in my stomach, and the inspiration and all. I wasn’t really happy that you are now happy… before. But now,  I’m happy you’ve found someone. Honestly.

I’m still hanged on that feeling and can barely move forward. But I know, soon, I will. I’m going to find someone who could make me happier than you did, someone who’ll love me with everything that person could give. Sooner or later, I could talk to you and laugh about how I’ve gone crazy for you. And to end this write-up, I want to thank you, again. And be happy with the one you’re committed now. I’m looking forward to talk to you, soon.