I say, I’ll stay.

For years I’ve been reserved and meek.

But then, I gained guts to tell you,

That it’s you whom I always seek.

Honestly, I’m falling for you.

Before all these, I’m tormented.

Daily I’m deeply affected.

To tell you is what I needed,

‘Cause I’ll be emancipated.

And now, you know how I’m feeling.

You’ve embraced it without changing.

Sweet friends without hassle, we say.

Though we won’t be lovers, I’ll stay.

Nothing to regret, super saya kasi!

Kala ko okay na ‘yung panahon ngayon kasi pagkagising ko kaninang umaga wala ng ulan. Kaya nag-grocery kami ng mga kaibigan(Kat&Shane) ko para magdonate sa isang church na nag-relief operation. 

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Tapos habang nag-grocery kami, bumuhos nanaman ‘yong napakalakas na ulan. Pero tinuloy pa rin namin. Super hirap ng byahe going to LRT, walang jeep kaya nag-pedicab kami. ‘Yung pedicab ay dumaan sa baha, wala naman kasing choice, edi hassle. Pero tuloy pa rin. Tas medyo okay na naman ‘yung byahe dalawang tren na lang naman ang kailangan para makapunta sa location. Nung nasa 2nd train na kami, bumaba kami sa Shaw, mali pala nababaan namin dapat sa Ortigas, one station ahead lang. Medyo naisip namin ‘wag nang tumuloy, kaso one station ahead na lang naman, kaya tuloy pa rin. Maraming tao sa train kaya nag-bus na lang kami going to the location, medyo malapit na lang naman. Tapos ayon, nakarating na nga kami sa Victory Church, Ortigas. 

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Ang mababait ng mga naghahandle ng operation. Iniisip namin kung sasali pa kami sa re-packing, kaso tapos na pala sila kasi medyo late na kami nakarating sa hirap ng byahe kaya after naming ibigay, umalis na rin kami. Tas mas okay na ‘yung byahe pabalik. Punta kaming SM San Lazaro para mag-dinner. 

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Unfortunately, sarado na siya pagdating namin. Kaya umuwi na lang kami, iba ‘yung way ko sa kanila kaya humiwalay na ako. And eto na start ng mas funny experience. Wala akong masakyan pauwi, so naglakad lang ako from SM San Lazaro hanggang bahay. Malayo siya, wala na akong oras para sukatin pa. Haha. Kidding aside, wala akong choice kung hindi lumusong sa baha. 

Image(Medyo madilim, pero ayan ‘yung nakalubog kong legs-paa sa baha)

Nung umpisa, medyo okay pa kasi mababa lang. Pero habang tumatagal, mas lumalalim. Ang pinakamalalim na nalusong ko is above the knee, konti na lang aabutin na si junior. =))))) Tapos may times na tumutungtong na ako dun sa elevated part sa gitna na naghahati sa dalawang lanes na may mga halaman at maglakad sa edge n’on kasi medyo mataas na talaga ‘yung baha, sa may Lacson Ave. Sobrang epic. Tapos may mga nakakasalubong akong naglalakad din at kinakausap nila ako about sa baha. Ang saya lang kasi kahit na ganon ‘yung pinagdaraanan nila super ngiti at saya pa rin nila. I have to say, “That’s the spirit!” Tas habang naglalakad pa, super nakakaawa ‘yung mga naka-lubog na bahay dahil sa baha. Hindi ko pa na-experience ‘yon kasi medyo mataas ‘yung lugar namin kaya we’re safe. Kaya sana talaga last na ‘tong nangyari na ‘to. Naglakad ako ng almost one hour, kasi medyo mahirap maglakad sa baha. Mga realizations na ang swerte ko pala kasi hindi ko pinagdaraanan ‘yong mga ganung bagay. 

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Tas nung nandon na ako sa part na wala ng baha, tumigil ako para sabihin sa baha na, “Bye! Sana ‘di ka na ulit bumalik.” :)))) Ayon, masaya lang talaga ako sa araw na ‘to kasi from that experience, ang dami ring realizations. The summary of that realizations was, ANG SWERTE KO PALA.  Kaya kahit na sobrang hassle ng pagpunta at pauwi para lang makapag-donate, hindi ako nagsisisi, bagkos, masaya pa ako, kasi nakatulong ako at natuto ako. Sana kayo rin. 😉 Kung mukha akong kawawa dito, 

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ayos lang… kasi ang totoo, 

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masaya ako! Thank you, Lord. Sana po ingatan Niyo ang mga anak Niyo. ‘Wag Niyo po kaming pababayaan. Kaya po namin ‘to, kasama ng gabay at pagmamahal niyo. 

 

P.S. Salamat sa pagbasa! Sana nag-enjoy kayo kakatawa sa paglusong ko sa baha. HAHAHA 

 

Not your type.

Being committed is clearly out of my plans in this phase of my life. I don’t know why, but I prefer not to. I just don’t like to be with someone who’ll leave me sooner and get married with other person. That’s what I think. That is what my mind tells me. Maybe I am stereotyping, but who cares, this is what I feel. And what I envision was I’m that person you won’t like to be with. At some point you’ll try to, but end up losing it. I got this fancy idea of the reasons why it will be hard for you to stay with me;

(1) I admit it, I’m a stubborn kid. I do what I want, and I fight for it, by any means.

(2) I’m a busy person. I just want to be on-the-go with no one telling me, “No, you can’t go there.” “No, you can’t help them.” “No, you can’t!” I’m just going to tell you that, “No, you can’t stop me.” I have lived my life with a supporting family who let’s me do things as long as I can handle it.

(3) I can’t get a handle on adding some drama into my life. I know that a thing like this can’t be gnarly but somehow I anticipate a movie-like love story.

(4) I want to look strong and be strong in any way, and I think this is my weak side. The thing we call love.

(5) I’m afraid to get hurt or to unintentionally hurt someone. I don’t know how to cope up with these things. That sounds gay but, honestly, I am.

(6) I have this lunatic fantasy that the one I’ll commit my life and love with would be the one I will stay with, forever.

(7) The worst reason would be, I prefer being alone. I may not want the feeling but, somehow, it makes me want to be unaccompanied. But in time, by instance, I might realize that I need someone to be there, someone who will stay.

People think of me with a flawless façade. That I am almost perfect and ideal, but I can assure you, I am not. I just don’t like people expecting something. I’m not making myself someone-who-is-not-your-type. I’m just waiting for someone who will, unintentionally, change my perceptions. Someone who can cope up with me being a knuckle-headed dude, I’ll just wait. I know there’s someone out there. Just be ready to face all these. 😉

Teens’ reflection #2

“An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.” (Proverbs 18:15)

 

          Our life never stops from experiencing things, whether good or bad. It goes on. When we were born, it is not like we entered school that we graduate every now and then. We are not graduating in life, only if you’re dead, you graduate. It is a continuous learning, it may have different phases, but it never ends there. We can still be a kid when we’re adult, but we can never act like a kindergarten when we are in college. We can make a lot of mistakes in our life and learn something from it, but in school we should be leery because we are graded. In life, we should accept that we know all things because, seriously, no one knows all things… only Him. Stop playing Mr. Know It All, and envisage the thought that we need to continually lucubrate the lessons of life. Even the oldest, a hundred in age or plus, still doesn’t know everything. Even the wisest man commits mistakes. But you shouldn’t feel sad or bad that you don’t know everything, but be happy because you are still alive because you have to learn some things. Trust in Him and He will make you see things that you need to see, feel things that you need to feel, speak things that you need to preach, hear things that you need to hear, do thing according to His words, and learn thing that you need to know and understand. That is life. That is the learning of life. So get up, everyday, and feel happy that TODAY you will learn something new.  

4ever & ever.

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     You made me feel more than being a member of a dance group, but a BARKADA. You made me feel more than love and care of a friend, but a family. You were all there to pick me up and tell me, “Kaya mo ‘yan.” You helped me not just to be stronger but to be a better person. I don’t rate you on who were there the longest time, who stayed at my worst being, and who is still there and who left, but I value all of you, equally. I know things weren’t as great and perfect as before. But we are all grown ups, we learned and should learn that no matter what, by any case/reason, we got each other’s back. If mistakes and bad things are done, just admit it, and regain each other’s trust. You’ll forgive/be forgiven and laugh about it every time you remember it. That is the true friendship, the friendship that has grown between all of us and is worth it to stay and fight for until forever. I hope everything will be fine, soon… Those misunderstandings and all will be settled. Life, as we know it, is really short. So as early as today, be happy and feel free. I know that the time will come when we are all getting jobs, getting married, and having kids, but this friendship will not just be remembered, it will stay. Even if, soon, we settle and get busy with work/family… I hope the “got your back” thing will remain, ’cause I, myself, will take note of that. This is enough, too much drama. Haha. I’ll be expecting more years like this. But, seriously, I want to slap in everyone’s face that I LOVE YOU ALL. Thank you for everything. 🙂 I value all of you. You know that, you must. We got 4 years, and we got 4ever to continue it. 😉 4ever ENIGMA, Happy 4th Anniversary! 😉